Wholeheartedly (Orginally was Beyond the Barricade)
by catherineee
Summary: "I want to let you know, that despite whatever you may think, you are not incapable of being loved." Eponine is hopelessly in love with Marius, but what if Enjolras was hopelessly in love with Eponine all along? Because of this courageous man's love for her, it ends up taking a toll on Eponine, Marius, Enjolras himself, and the whole rebellion he has dedicated his life to.
1. Chapter One

Hi everyone! This is my first ever fanfiction, so please be nice! I know that not every thing in my story corresponds with how scenes are set up in the novel and musical of Les Mis, but that's what makes it _my story. _Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Feel free to comment, review, etc. because your feedback is really appreciated. I just finished re-reading and editing this from when when I first uploaded it, so I promise that it's better than before!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Les Miserables or any of these characters... Obviously.**

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Enjolras POV

I saw my friend, Marius, enter through the door to the cafe, with Eponine Thenadier slowly trailing behind. She often comes to these meetings about the revolution, yet every time, she catches me by surprise. I can't stop but stare at her. As everyone knows, my true concerns belong to the welfare of my country, but when I find my mind drifting off, all I can ever think about is Eponine. She is a very small and frail girl, always covered with a thin layer of dirt on her skin and clothes. Her parents are huge conpeople, and everyone knew it. People knew not to trust anyone with the name Thenadier. However, beneath all that grime and Thenadier infamy, she truly was a beauty. In fact, she might just be the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. She had long brown hair and these striking, big brown eyes that made the world stop turning. Her smile had such a nice appeal to them that it just lit up her entire face. Although she was indeed a Thenadier, she was not cruel or unkind. She could not dare think about stealing from others. She was polite as ever, despite how she was raised.

"Hello, Enjolras. How's our fine leader coming along?", Marius says as they approach me.

"I'm doing well, Marius. Bonjour, Madamoiselle Eponine."

I could tell she was not accustomed to being called with such prestige and respect by the way she smiled and blushed.

"Bonjour to you as well, Mons-"

Marius interrupts her, "You will never guess who I just met, Enjolras. The girl I saw at the town square. She is the most beautful woman in this entire world. Her name is Cosette. Eponine brought me to her and we confessed our love for one another. Isn't that right, 'Ponine?"

"Yes, all very much true, Monsiuer..." She looks down at the ground sadly.

I interrupt them both before Marius can continue on raving about this girl.

"Marius, there are bigger things at hand than what goes on in your heart. We are far too preoccupied to be thinking about women right now."

I swear, the hypocrisy that hides in my character is too much to bear. I thought to myself, snap out of it, Enjolras. I am being distracted by a beautiful young woman, Eponine, just as well! What am I doing? I cannot think about some girl at a time like this, and neither should Marius. The state of France is at stake. At least I attempt to hide my feelings. He doesn't seem to care at all.

Another friend of the ABC, as we like to call ourselves, could not help but eavesdrop.

"Is Marius Pontmercy in love? Oh how can this be? I will never know."

"Grantaire, she is the fairest women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. If you had been there too, you would know how I feel."

Of course the eavesdropper would be Grantaire. Sometimes, I find myself wondering why Grantaire is even here at all. He is a lazy drunkard that doesn't offer the group anything, but a good laugh. He does not believe in this revolution at all, nor does he support it. He's indifferent to it all, and yet he stays and is willing to fight... Or so he says. He is quite a confusing character. I do not hate him, as hate is a strong word. I don't even resent him. I only resent the fact that he continues living his life without a care in the world, when there is so much suffering going on in the world around us.

I leave my thoughts about him at that and glance back over at Eponine, who I can tell is getting very upset by Marius's words. Everyone that knew her, but Marius, could guess that she was plainly in love with him. She followed him around like a little dog. If only he knew how lucky he was! He's been so hung up on this girl, Cosette; he talks of how life without her means nothing at all, yet that has been his whole entire life until now. I bet her beauty can't even match up to that of Eponine's. Yet, he has known Eponine for years now and just shoos away her feelings. It must kill her inside, hearing Marius call someone else the prettiest girl to ever exist.

In order to make Eponine feel better and to get the men, including myself, back into the line of order, I try to change the subject.

"Who cares about your lonely soul, Marius? You saw that girl at the market place and she's all you talk about now. Now that you actually met her, your infatuation with her will be increased tenfold."

"This is not infatuation, Enjolras. It's love."

"Whatever it may be, it is not important at the moment. France is our main priority."

He sighs and finally gives in. Maybe he realizes how much this girl has clouded his mind and judgement afterall, but I highly doubt it.

"Okay, fine. How is General Lamarque? Have you heard any news?", Marius asks.

"I have, and it's sad to say that he is not improving in the slightest. His welfare just gets worse as the days go by."

"Who is this General Lamarque, may I ask? I don't often hear much from other people and I can't read about him in the papers.", Eponine asked.

This question was very sad. Not the fact that she didn't know, but the reasons on why. She's never heard about him because people tend to stay away from her, due to her reputation. She can't read about him due to her lack of money to buy the paper itself and the lack of education to even read at all.

Marius answered, "General Lamarque is the only man in France with high political power that cares about people like us. If he passes, it will be inevitable that we will lose the little power we might have had in government."

"People like us, Monsiuer?", she smiled and giggled. "Don't play. We all know how wealthy you are, no matter how much you deny it!" Gosh, she sure was beautiful.

Only a few moments later, our messenger, little Gavroche, arrived.

"Everybody! Everybody, listen to me! General Lamarque is dead.", he announces.

The room went dead silent. All the laughing men who had just been indulging themselves to booze and alcohol a minute ago, quit their jokes and games, including Grantaire. I could tell that I, being their leader, had to break the silence.

"Our beloved general has passed. This is the perfect time to put our plans into action, boys. We must act now."

"How do we carry on with this plan?", asks a man named Bahorel.

Marius yells, "The fight should start on the day of Lamarque's funeral."

"Yes, Marius," I say. "Not just only on the day, but at the funeral itself. We will rise up and fight amongst the king's men. We will build up our barricade for General Lamarque! For France!"

A friend of Marius's named Coufeyrac raises his glass in the air. "To France!"

The boys chime into the toast as well. I look around the room at all my friends. We will fight alongside each other when the time comes. My eyes land on Eponine, sitting on the otherside of the cafe, staring at Marius in a dream-like state, as he toasts amongst the boys.


	2. Chapter Two

Eponine POV

Enjolras has announced that the fight for freedom will come any day now. I can't believe the time has come for this to finally take place. One could argue that this is exciting, but then again, it is also very frightening. Anyone who says that it isn't is a liar or a drunk. In just a few days, _any one _of these men could and most likely will be dead... I can only hope that one of them won't be Marius.

I don't know what I would do with myself if he doesn't make it out alive. However, it dawns on me that I can't do anything even if he makes it out all right as well. I can never tell him how I really feel, especially now that he has found Cosette. I wish I had never brought him to her. I should have said that I never found her and left it at that... But I know I can't lie to Marius. He just has to look at me with his blue eyes and I fall apart.

I ponder this thought. I try to make peace with this fact, but I just can't in this cafe. They're all so loud and I can't even hear myself think.

"Monsiuer, I'm going to go home now. Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow.", I tell Marius.

"Okay, 'Ponine. I'll see you then." He didn't even break focus on his other friends to look at me as I left.

I was halfway to the door when I heard him call back to me.

"'Ponine!"

I turn around and smile, hoping Marius will come and hug me goodbye... Anything of the sort.

"Yes?"

"Thank you again for finding Cosette. You're a great friend."

My smile drops. I will always just be a friend.

"Don't mention it...", I say. "I'd do anything for you."

He turns around and returns to the main room of the cafe.

I go out the door to see that it' s raining. I'll be stuck in the rain all night. Even when I return home, the rain will be able to fall through our makeshift roof that couldn't shelter anything even if it tried. That fact of returning home to my parents scared me as well. They'd yell at me for being out so late. My dad would probably be drunk and hit me again. He does it often, so I don't see why I should expect anything different. I decide to not go home; I'll wait until the time they usually go to bed. Maybe by morning, my father will be less mad, or maybe he'll even forget that I left at all. I just continue walking around, thinking.

As the night goes on, the rain falls harder and harder. It does not bother me though, because I have a lot on my mind. I can only think of Marius and his lovely Cosette. To think I had grown up with that girl for a short period of time in our youth... I was so mean to her when we were little. She's probably very thankful for that man that took her away from my family and raised her himself. Now, she lives a much better lifestyle than I could ever dream of having. She also has the affections of the man I love in hand. I would be convinced that this was her revenge towards me, if only she knew of me now and who I played in Marius's life. Marius, on the other hand, is so oblivious to my feelings for him. How does he not see how much I care? Though even if he did see, it wouldn't matter. He could never love an ugly street urchin like me when he could have a beautiful girl like Cosette. She had lovely pale skin and blonde hair that fell into perfect curls; her eyes were a deep green color. I only had stringy, dirty brown hair, dirty skin that's tanned too much from being out and away from my home all the time, and brown eyes that didn't have anything special to them at all. I'll always be on my own.


	3. Chapter Three

Enjolras POV

I stayed in the cafe for a few more hours. I chatted with the boys about how great our lives would be if we were able to win this fight at the barricade. We will be written in the history book forever. However, all this talk of revolution gets tiring and my mind soon drifts off. I would never let the rest of the boys know this or else they'd think it'd be okay for them to slack off as well. I'm their leader, their shining example.

With my drifting thoughts, I think of Eponine once again. I soon wonder where she has gone off too. I look around and don't find her anywhere. I go over to Marius.

"Where is Eponine?", I ask.

"She left a long time ago. She's probably home already."

"It's late and it's raining heavily outside. Even if she made it home, she'd be freezing, considering where she lives."

"She'll be okay, Enjolras! Eponine is a tough girl. Here, have another drink.", Marius says as he hands me a glass of beer.

"No, Marius. I'm gonna go out and look for Eponine.. Just to make sure she's all right."

"Okay, suit yourself."

I make my way outside. It's raining harder than I ever thought. I don't mind rain so much though so I continue my search for Eponine. It takes about thirty minutes before I find her soaking wet, sitting against a building wall.

"Eponine, how long have you been sitting here in the rain? You might get sick!"

She looks up at me. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy, as if she had just finished crying.

"Is that you, Enjolras? No, I'm okay. I won't get sick. I just don't wanna go home just yet..."

"Why have you been crying? What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing at all. I'm fine, really."

"You're not. I know you better than that." I persist, "What's wrong?"

After this going back and forth for a while, she breaks down, crying.

"I just have a lot on my mind... About Marius and Cosette... Oh, Enjolras, I love him so. He'll never been interested in me though. I can only dream."

Hearing her actually say these words aloud hurt a lot more than I thought they would. Before this moment, she had never actually confessed her feelings about him to me. It was always just plain to see, but I hoped, by some miracle, that I had misunderstood.

"Marius is a foolish man. He doesn't see that the only thing he'll ever need in his life has been right in front of him for so long. If I were him, I'd make sure I'd never let you go.

"You don't have to say that. All the girls in town swoon over you. You could have anyone of them if you weren't so hung up on this revolution you're planning", she said jokingly.

"All the girls in town bore me, but that's besides the point. If anything, you are too good for Marius. Too good for anyone, for that matter."

"Thank you, Monsiuer. You really are sweet. Its surprising."

"What do you mean?", I ask, a bit confused.

"Well... you're really intimidating. You seem so serious all the time."

I laugh at this because it is true. I am too serious.

She continues to say, "I think that's the first time I have ever heard you laugh. Or even smile for that matter!"

She laughs. Her whole face lights up. I can't stop looking at her eyes.

We sit there in silence for a while, when she finally decides to go home.

"It's getting quite late. The rain doesn't seem to be lightening up any time soon anyways.", she says.

"You're right. Eponine, if you want, you can stay the night at my house. It's not much, but it's warm inside. You don't have to go home if you don't want to go."

"I would love to, but I can't. My parents will worry about me.", she says anxiously. It seems as if she's either scared of what they'll do to her or that's she's doubtful that they'll even care at all. The look on her face is heartbreaking.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Plus, I wouldnt want to intrude."

"It's no bother at all. You wouldn't be intruding... I actually would want you to stay."

I look at her, but she refuses to look back at me. She just looks at the ground, as if she was ashamed. I do not insist any further from there. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable.

I tell her, "If you change your mind, come and find me, okay?"

"I will. Good night, Monsiuer Enjolras."

"Good night to you as well, Madamoiselle."

I watch her walk away, down the street towards her "house" in the rain. When she said all those things about the girls in town, I only wished that she'd share those similar feelings. I'd hope she would swoon over me just the same. I'd make her mine the instant I had the chance.

It's so hard to think that such a lovely girl has to suffer so much.


	4. Chapter Four

Eponine POV

When I returned home, my mother and father were unfortunately still awake. They had waited up for me to return home. My mother called me a whore, assuming that I've been up all night sleeping around for money. After she had done that, she yelled at me for not sharing the profits. It made no sense to me whatsoever. Then my father beat me like I assumed he would. I took each blow well though. I have bruises all over my stomach, which no one will see, and on my arm, which no one will probably ask about. It was now the next morning, and I had woken up early, hoping to get away from my parents before they awoke as well. I silently creeped my way out, hoping not disturb them.

Once out of the little shelter we made for ourselves in the market place, I looked around. It was crowded as usual, as it always is, even at this time of day. I see Marius walking not too far away, alongside Enjolras. I want to go over to Marius and say good morning, but I can't bring myself to do so with Enjolras standing there.. To be completely honest, I'm embarrassed of all that I said to Enjolras the previous night. I usually would never let anyone see me defeated, and most definitely never let them see my tears. I'm afraid Enjolras would judge me, and say that I'm weak. I don't know why I told him my feelings for Marius. What was I thinking? I guess it was good for me though; I was able to get everything off my chest. Enjolras listened intently to every thing I had to say and he actually seemed to care.

In the moment I distinguish that it's them, I turn to the other direction and try to get away. This proves unsuccessful, as Marius still spots me.

"'Ponine! 'Ponineeeee!", he calls through the town square.

I sigh and turn around once again. I wait for them to walk towards me.

"Bonjour Monsiuer Marius. To you as well, Monsiuer Enjolras.", trying to sound as if last night's conversation with him never occured.

Marius greets me back, "Hello 'Ponine. How are you this fine morning?"

"Quite well. What are you two doing in the marketplace at this time of day? Should you not be planning?"

"We actually just came from the cafe.", Enjolras answered. "After I left you last night, I went back and stayed the rest of the night there. We're both really tired. I'm on my way back home, but Marius here is out to buy some gifts for that girl, Cosette. He plans to see her soon and wants to get her something special."

"Oh is that so, Monsiuer? Well, what do you plan to ge-"

I wince. A sudden ache from the bruises on my arm comes upon me, totally unexpected. These bruises hurt more than they usually do.

"Eponine, are you all right?", Marius asks.

"Yes, I'm quite fine. It's nothing at all."

Marius looks convinced, but not Enjolras. He looks at me intently until he finally comes across my arms. He has noticed the bruises along them.

"Okay, whatever you say, Eponine.", Marius replies. "Anyways, I must get going. I have a busy schedule ahead. Would you two like to accompany me?"

Enjolras denies, saying he must get home. I deny as well, not wanting to intrude on Marius's plans. I wouldn't want to see him buy gifts for another girl anyhow.

Soon, Marius leaves and I am left alone with Enjolras.

I tell him, "Well I must get going. I have to go help my father-"

"Eponine," Enjolras interrupts, "you know as well as I do that your father won't be up until noon. Come walk with me, would you?"

"Oh Enjolras, I really must get going."

"Please. I don't ask for much."

I finally give in and walk with him through the town square and towards his small home. We walk for a while, without saying a word. It was a familiar silence that I had experienced only the night before with him, right before I decided to go home. He finally breaks the silence,

"How did you get those bruises on your arms?"

I hoped that he wouldn't ask me. I try to play it off as if I were confused,

"What bruises are you talking about?"

"Eponine, don't kid around. I can see them plainly. Other people may not notice, but I do. You can try to hid them all you want, but you can't continue living like this. Your father is too dangerous for you to be around and your mother only makes it worse with her verbal abuse."

"I didn't get these bruises from my father. You have it all wrong. I slipped on a puddle last night and banged my arms against the pavement."

"You don't have to lie to me. I know the people you live with. I just never knew that your father was really capable of ever physically hurting you."

I suddenly feel tears coming up on my eyes. Oh not again. Especially not in front of Enjolras. Not two days in a row.

"Could we please stop talking about this...", I ask tearfully.

Enjolras looks at me and can see how sad I was.

"I'm sorry.", he says. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just want to tell you that you don't have to stay with them if you don't want to."

"What other choice do I have? I have no where else to go where they won't find me. I can never get far enough..."

Silence comes between us once again. He looks at the ground, deep in thought. It stays silent until we reach to the front of his house.

I tell him goodbye and start to walk away, but he calls back to me.

"Yes, Monsiuer?"

"Eponine. We could run away, get away from this place and your family. We could travel to England and I could keep you safe for however long you need protection."

"What are you talking about? Have you gone absolutely mad?"

"No, I haven't. You are obviously unhappy here and it's painful to see a girl such as yourself go through all that you've endured... Eponine, I care about you. I want you to stop suffering."

I look at him for a while, not saying anything.

Enjolras continues, "I actually thought of it for a while now and it seems like the perfect solution."

I finally reply back, "Why would you leave France? You love your country. You're about to risk your life for it's wellbeing, for Christ's sake."

"Yes, Eponine, but I think I may love you more."

I am completely caught off guard. I look at him with the most shocked expression ever suited possible on my face. He looks back at me, seeming just as shocked as I am.

"Excuse me, Monsieur?"


	5. Chapter Five

Enjolras POV

Did I really just say that? What was I thinking? It just slipped out...

Eponine looks at me, doe-eyed and shocked. There's no turning back for me now. I have to admit to her what I've felt all along.

When I finally found words to speak, I told her,

"I'm sorry if that surprised you. It just came out of my mouth without thinking. However, if I don't say this now, I probably will never get the courage to ever do so again."

"Say what? And the ever so courageous Enjolras is afraid? Well I'd never believe it..."

"It's true. Being with you frightens me. I have never felt the way I do for you for anyone else ever in my lifetime. I don't know what to do with this feeling. I don't want to scare you away, but I think I really do love you. You're interesting, brave, and, not to mention, very beautiful. When I'm not thinking about the revolution, I think of you; you are always present in mind. I know you don't love me back, and I've made my peace with that fact, but that still doesn't excuse me from ever letting you be mistreated. I'm no Marius Pontmercy. I am not as rich or as charming, but if I had to leave my beloved country to please you, to keep you safe, I'd do it without a second thought."

"You don't really mean that...", she says.

I interrupt, "But I actually do. I completely, wholeheartedly do. I'd die for you, Eponine. Even if you deny my offer to leave, this conversation would not have been for nothing. I want to let you know, that despite whatever you may think, you are not incapable of being loved. You are one of the greatest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting."

I lean in, and put my hand on the side of her face. I pull her closer to me so that we're looking directly in front of each other's eyes.

"Eponine Thenadier, you are my everything.", I say before I pull her lips to mine. I kiss her and she does not try to move away. She recieves it and even kisses me back. This is everything I had ever hoped for. Even if I had just imagined this moment, it wouldn't have matter at this point.

I finally pull away from what I've been craving for the longest time. I look at her, but she cannot look back at me.

She takes a while to speak, but she gathers up her current emotions and tells me, "Enjolras... All I've ever wanted was to be loved. As I look back on it now, you have always been there for me. I never realized how comfortable I felt around you, nor how easy it was to talk to you what I really feel until yesterday. I know you care about me, and I care for you too..."

I ask her, "Does that mean you'll come away with me?"

She sighs and replies, "No, Enjolras. You have to stay here. I have to stay here. Your friends need you to fight alongside them."

"We can go after the fight. I'll win this battle for everyone here... For you. Then we'll leave. After a while, we can come back if you feel like you'd be safe from your parents ever finding you."

"Oh Monsiuer, that sounds fantastic, but I honestly think you are confused. You couldn't possibly love me. Like I said before, you could have any girl you pleased."

I protest. "I don't want other girls. I want you. I want to be with you, Eponine. Please listen to me."

"You don't know what you are saying. I'm sorry, but I have to go now."

With that being said, she runs off and I watch her go down the street, just as I had the night before.


	6. Chapter Six

Eponine POV

Many days have passed since I last saw Marius or Enjolras. I am still completely taken aback by what Enjolras has confessed to me, and it's been almost a week. The realization that it had actually happened just sunk in. I've had time to think it over and all this time, I had done to Enjolras as Marius had done to me. He cares about me so much and, in the short time that I've known him, he's been with me for every hardship I'd ever had to face since then. How did I not see it sooner? How did I not see that Enjolras may just be the one for me? He was just as attractive as Marius, with his blue-gray eyes and blownish blonde hair that curled however they pleased. Plus, he had his own certain appeal and charm to him. Though it was much different from Marius's charm, his charm had seeped from his determination, bravery, and chivalry. He was stern, but that means he always stood his ground. He was not as warm or forgiving as Marius, but he was also capable of showing affection, as he so obviously shown towards me.

He fights for what he believes in, and yet, this is exactly the problem.

It has almost been a week since I last saw him. He has not bothered to reach me, contact me, or anything of the sort. And anyways, if he had loved me for as long as he said, wouldn't he have been able to admit it sooner? One could argue that he wants to give me time to think about what he had to say, but that doesn't really suit his character. Enjolras _always_ fights for what he wants and it doesn't even seem as though he'll fight for me. You may judge me and say that I can't just expect him to just come to me, but I just can't help it, considering who he is. It's Enjolras, for heaven's sake.

It's no question that he cares for me, but love? Impossible. If he loves me as much as he says he does, he would have continued to fight. He is a person that never gives up.

I have come to realize that I love both Enjolras and Marius. I still do not win in any case however. Enjolras is probably just confused and Marius is obliviously in love with Cosette. Oh how cruel and unfair life could be...

I leave my little home for the first time in a few days. Before I leave though, I shove a little green stone that I keep under my pillow into my pocket. This was my good luck charm and I hoped that I could give it to either Marius or Enjolras, to give them good luck for their fight at the barricade. I stand in the town square and breathe in the fresh air; it was always so stuffy inside where I lived. I stood for a while, but soon made my way around the neighborhoods. I honestly didn't know where I was going, but I just continued on. If you haven't guessed, I like to take walks often.

After a few minutes of aimless strolling, I ended up right in front of the ABC cafe. I looked at the building, wondering if Enjolras or Marius were inside. I wondered if they were sitting around a table, talking about what would take place tomorrow. Maybe they were at home, resting. I don't know. I was scared to go check for some reason. However, I needed to see them. Tomorrow would be when the battle would take place and I had to wish them luck, amongst other things. I pulled up my courage and entered the cafe, only to find Grantaire, who was drinking all that the bar had to offer. It wasn't even pass noon yet.

"Grantaire, have you seen Enjolras? What about Marius?"

"Well hello, Eponine! How are you doing?"

"Swell, thank you. Now, where are Enjolras and Marius?"

"Marius is at home resting. I wouldn't know about Enjolras though.. He clearly seems to hate me.", he says.

I honestly don't want to get into this conversation, but I cannot bear to leave. Grantaire seems especially defeated by what he assumes Enjolras percieves him as.

"Enjolras does not hate you. Trust me. You two are just completely different people. His life is devoted to the fight, and you reek of indifference. I don't even see why you are bothering to fight at all, Grantaire."

"I fight because I admire Enjolras. He is everything I could hope to become. He has a purpose in life that he's willing to pursue, which is far from what I can ever dream of. The passion he has is worth that of two people."

I listen and wonder if Grantaire would ever be able to admit to what he had just revealed in sobriety.

He continues on, "Enjolras is probably doing the same thing as Marius... Resting at home. If you plan to look for him start there."

"Thank you, Grantaire. I wanted to see them before the fight."

"Okay, wish us luck! We sure as hell are gonna need it...", he says.

And just like that, he switches on from being eternally distressed to jokingly boisterous. The power that alcohol can have on a person is actually astonishing.

I made my way out of the ABC Cafe, and back into the streets. Should I go see Marius or Enjolras first? Before deciding, I walk around and, somehow, end up in front of Enjolras's house before I even decided to come there. It's probably good I ended up over here anyways. I have a lot to talk over with him.

I knock on his door and I'm left waiting for a few minutes. Right before I was about to turn around and leave, Enjolras comes to answer the door. He looks as if he just got up from bed. His eyes were droopy and his wild and crazy hair was even more dissheveled than usual; he didn't have a shirt on either, which was very distracting on my part. He still did look quite handsome this way though.

"Bonjour, Mademoiselle.", he says.

"Bonjour to you too, Monsiuer. Have I woken you up? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I'll lea-"

To be honest, I kind have regretted coming here and wanted a reason to get away. What would I tell him?

"No, don't worry. I was waiting on the moment I'd see you next. Please, come inside."

"Uh okay... How are you?"

"I'm fine. Just getting prepared for the fight at the barricade tomorrow. And you?"

"Fine as well. Where are you guys planning to form the barricade?"

"We're gonna build it right at the cafe. It seems like a good position for us. We would only have to build one wall because the back of the cafe connects with other buildings. By making a barricade in front of the cafe, we can close off any entrance. If the Natonal Guards try to get inside, they'd have to do so by climbing over the barricade wall. Before they can get the oppertunity to do that, we'd shoot them"

"Oh really? Well what happens if your men need to get out?", I ask.

"That's not really an option for us; we have to face what's due to us, and if we see an escape, some of my men would probably take advantage of it."

"Oh... Well I wish you the best of luck tomorrow."

I suddenly remember that my small green stone is still in my pocket. I reach into my pocket and take out it out.

I tell Enjolras, "Speaking of luck, I found this stone one night about three months ago, during the usual walks that I like to take. It had such a pretty color to it that I just had to bring it home for some reason. Yet, every time I had it on me, good things occured to me almost simultaneously. Whenever I had it, I was able to find good food for me to eat, or I was able to escape a beating from my father. Whatever the situation was, I believed this rock helped me get through it. This may seem very superstitious to you, and I don't mind if you laugh at it like everyone else does, but I want you to have it just in case. It might bring you luck for tomorrow's battle."

I take his hand and put the stone into its palm.

"Thank you, Eponine.", he says as he looks at it. "I can only hope this fight will be worth the effort. I will never do anything for nothing... Same goes for what I told you last week. Like I said before, that too would not be for nothing as well."

"That's actually the reason why I came here today..."

"Are you here to officially break my heart, dear Eponine? If so, do it gently. I can only handle so much.", he said with a slight joking smile that was just so wonderful; I couldn't help but smile as well.

"Monsiuer.. I've had a while to think this over. I've decided that you mean a lot to me as well. I was always thinking of Marius when you were here all along. I love you, Enjolras, I do, but that does not mean I have stopped loving Marius as well. I love both of you and it's too hard for me to choose between you two. People think that once you fall in love, you completely forget about someone from who you have loved in the past as well, but that's not always true. It's possible to be conflicted on where your heart resides, and that's what is happening to me now. But still, Marius doesn't even know of my feelings toward him and you are just confused on what you feel."

"Eponine, what are you talking about? I am not confused at all. I love you too much to ever let you go."

"But, Enjolras, you are so indeed. You may think you love me, but if you think about it, you have no reason to do so at all. I don't want to run away with you, and then have you regret it later on. You'll miss your friends. You'll miss this land. I couldn't be the one to take that away from you. You'll wake up one day and realize you hadn't loved me all along, and that will kill me."

"Listen to me," he says. "Eponine Thenadier, I will never leave you. I do not love you for nothing. You are a fantastic person. What can't you understand about that?"

"Stop, Enjolras. I have to go."

"Eponine,", he says as he grabs my arm, "you can't just keep running away from me. This may be the last time I'm ever going to see you again."

"Don't say that... Don't think like that. You'll make it out of the barricade okay."

"You don't know that for sure. I don't want my last thought of you to be one where you were too scared to take a chance with me. Eponine, you are never scared. Neither am I. Yet, for some reason, we make each other frightened of being with one another. Still, I don't care. I'd risk everything to be with you.

I look into his eyes, which look so sad. I had always known that they were blue, but I had never realized just how beautiful they were. Almost hypnotizing. Without a second thought, I pull myself closer to him and kiss him. This kiss was even better than the first one we had shared before. Without even having to say anything else, this kiss made me realize that if anyone were to love me eventually, it would be Enjolras. In time, we could learn how to keep each other purely happy. If I was right about Enjolras not loving me now, I could wait until I believed he actually did. Was I capable of taking a risk on whether I could eventually believe him though?

I release him from the kiss and just hug him for a while, resting my head on his chest for what feels like forever.

I slowly take my head off him and back away.

I tell him, "Enjolras, I love you. But I actually must leave now, okay? Goodbye."

He doesn't say a word at this point. He just watches as I leave through the door.

At this point, I am the one who's confused, probably much more than I suspected Enjolras for ever being. Constant thoughts of if it was really possible for him to love me and how I should handle this situation pounded my mind. Even if I did accept Enjolras's supposed love and we ran away together, what would I do about my feelings for Marius? Was I just supposed to forget and ignore them? That seems too unrealistic, yet if I were to gradually let go of them, it would be unfair to Enjolras.

I don't bother going to see Marius. I have too much on my mind that I need to figure out. Everything is just so complicated right now. I'll try to see him before the fight tomorrow.


	7. Chapter Seven

Enjolras POV

The day has finally come. General Lamarque's funeral will take place at noon today. The boys and I will meet beforehand at the cafe for one last drink together. I'm still quite tired though because I did not get any sleep last night. I stayed up all night for the anticipation of this fight and with jumbled thoughts of Eponine. What did she mean that I was confused? I cannot understand the thought she holds that she's not good enough. If anything, I don't deserve her. She told me she loved me, and I should be happy, but I can't live with the fact that she doesn't think I truly reciprocate. I do love her more than life itself. I want to see her again, but I have no more time. Hopefully, she'll be at the funeral to watch.

I put on my red coat that hangs behind my door. I make sure to keep the little stone Eponine had given me into the coat pocket. I don't believe in all this superstitous junk, but I bring it with me because I know it would please Eponine. I leave my house and make my way to the ABC Cafe. This moment might be the last I'll see my friends together as a whole. As their leader, I prepared a very short speech to motivate them. I cannot let them lose hope now.

I arrive and find them all sitting at tables. They talk, but are not as lively and energetic as they usually are. They are frightened. I'm a little frightened myself, but I will never let them know that. I have to show a straight face. If they see me frightened, they will already accept defeat.

"Hello, boys", I greet them as I come in. "Are we all ready for today?"

They reply positively, but not with a lot of excitement.

"I want all of you to know that you are brave souls and would like to thank you for helping us gain our freedoms. Because of us, we will renew France as a place where we all are equal. Many of you may be scared, and that's completely understandable, because any of us may not last to see another day. I brought all of us here one last time so that we will always remember who stood by us; we are a family and our job is to protect each other, and to protect the rights of the people. It is certain that not all of us will survive this fight, and if one of those people happens to be you, I can only hope that you will not die in vain. If your death is to occur, know that it was for a good cause. What we are doing here today is one step closer to our known goal, as we will inspire others to rise up and do the same all over the nation. If we are to be successful in our fight, France will thank us for our courage, but if we are to be unsuccessful, we will still receive the same honor. We will not be the last to attempt. Fights like ours will continue on until the rights of the people have been seen through... The people will never stop. I'm sorry I can not talk longer, but we must start heading out. The funeral will be starting very soon. Anyways, I hope you all will make it through okay... I know you will. I can do nothing now but guide you and wish you guys luck. Let's make a toast."

One of my men stands up and raises his glass of beer. "To us all. May God be in our favor."

We take our drink, shake hands, and hug the ones we were especially close to.

"Let's get going, boys.", Marius says.

We all leave the cafe and make our way to the funeral procession.


	8. Chapter Eight

Eponine POV

I wait in a huge crowd for the funeral procession to start. On the other side of the street, I see all the Friends of the ABC Cafe approach. They all wear circular pins on their clothing, with the colors of red, white, and blue. They make a spot for themselves in the front so that they can get a good view of what goes on in the street. After a while, we see men in uniform, all atop horses, ride down the street- the National Guards. I didn't know how much of these military officials there would actually be. I started to get scared. How do Marius and Enjolras plan to fight off all these men? I look back over at Enjolras's men, trying to find them specifically in the crowd. Both are standing directly in the front of the rest of the Friends of the ABC. They look so serious, something I'm used to seeing in Enjolras, but never Marius. Marius always seems approachable. At least they don't look anxious or scared.

I'm not able to get either of their attentions.

A horse drawn carriage soon rolls down the street. In that carriage is the casket containing the body of their beloved general. All of a sudden, I see Enjolras leave the crowd and make his way to the middle of the street. He stands in front of the carriage and starts waving a large red flag. The rest of the boys make their way into the street right after to join him. Marius climbs onto the top of the horse-drawn carriage. Enjolras stops waving his flag and begins to climb onto the roof of the horse-drawn carriage too, where Marius waits for him. They sing a song of freedom for the people, which soon has everyone else in the crowd singing along. They have now taken control of this entire funeral. The people march along with these brave men into the middle of the streets, singing their songs in unison. Enjolras, still atop the carriage, spots me in the crowd. He gives me a devilish smile, which seems to say, "It's finally come. I was born to do this". I could not protest this in the slightest. I know he was. This was everything he was meant to do. I soon join them in the funeral procession.

The soldiers who had begun the original procession realize that they have lost the control of the people. They ride their horses around the block and circle back to the front of the procession once again, but this time facing the carriage and all the people around it. The people stop singing and they face off with these soldiers. Enjolras's men pull out their guns, and the soldiers draw their swords and muskets. Weapons in the air, everything is silent. However, this does not last long. A sound of a musket from the National Guards' side goes off and an elderly woman, standing not too far away from me, collapses to the ground; she has been shot in the chest. The fight has officially begun.

Enjolras and his men begin to fire their weapons at the soldiers, as the soldiers do the same to Enjolras's men. Regular pedestrians begin to run; I should have done the same, but I could not leave Marius nor Enjolras. Amongst the gun fire and sound of running feet, I hear Enjolras yell.

"To the barricade!"

His men get off of and around the carriage and run to the cafe, and I tag along. We were already there before the soldiers even realized what they had planned. People in the neighboring houses began to throw furniture out of their windows, which would be piled up and used to build the barricade wall. Everything was escalating so quickly. I didn't know what to do. Shouts and sounds of gunfire filled the air. I hear men pushing over another horse-drawn carriage, which would be used for the barricade as well. The sounds of horses began to rush forward in the direction of the barricade. I turn around and see a great number of cavalry soldiers coming this way. The amount of soldiers increased, having almost ten times the number of revolutionaries. I know Enjolras and Marius have no chance. I have to go see them.

Without thinking, I find myself climbing over the barricade in order go be with Marius or Enjolras. It was risky and I know one of either Marius, Enjolras or I, if not all three, would die that very day in this very spot. However, if that was the case, I'd be glad that I got to spend my last moments with one of the men I love, although I did not know for sure if Enjolras reciprocated and knew for certain that Marius did not. He would always love Cosette.

On my way up the barricade, I heard shouting becoming louder and louder as the seconds passed. The National Guards who were supposed to squash this rebellion were coming up fast behind me, racing up the barricade as well. At that moment, I was so frightened; I almost lost my footing and fell. Thankfully, I was able to grab hold of the wheel of a horse drawn carriage that had been toppled over and pushed to the top. I was not fast enough though. As soon as I was able to go up and over, I saw men in uniform do the same. They were obviously much stronger and more capable than a starving young girl could ever be.

I got lost in this thought until I remembered my original purpose of being here. I had to look for Enjolras or Marius. I had to see them one more time, if not the last. I searched to my left and right, screaming their names. I first see Marius, who was only a little further away from me, near the end of the barricade; he had turned to look for who had called him. In that short moment of distraction, I saw a National Guard climb up and try to make it to Marius, and Marius had not.

"Look out!", I screamed.

This time he did not hear me.

I knew what I had to do. I darted past all the boys I knew. I shared a small glance with Enjolras. He looked at me, befuddled and distraught. He was probably wondering why I was here... Maybe he was even worried for my safety.

He yelled to me, "Eponine! Get out of here now!"

I do not listen however and keep heading towards to Marius. If I don't, he could be killed by that approaching soldier. Enjolras, knowing he could not control my actions at this point, gave up and returned his focus back to National Guard that had been attempting to kill him.

I continued on to Marius, with the soldier getting closer and closer. Why did time seem to be going so slow? Marius was already fighting with another National Guard and seemed to be too distracted once again to notice the other one I was looking at. This one started to bring up his gun at last.

I ran next to Marius and covered the head of the musket pointed at him with my hand. The shot fired and the bullet ripped right through my palm and into my chest. I fell to the floor, but I do not remember much directly after this.

I soon find myself being cradled in Marius' arms as he sits on the floor; it had started to rain. The water made me feel colder than I already was. Yet, Marius' arms kept me warm at the same time. I was in his arms at last. I had dreams about moments like this and only wish they had come under better circumstances.

"'Ponine! Are you mad? Why are you here?", he asked. They were scolding words, but he said them in such a way that it was made obvious that he indeed cares for me in a way. I was in so much pain that I almost couldn't answer him.

"I had to pro-protect you, Monsiuer... I would never let any harm come to you."

"Yes, but you are hurt badly! You're shivering like a mad man. We need to get you some help. We need to get you out of this rain."

"No, Monsiuer. Trust me, everything will be okay... A little fall of rain can't hurt me now."

I look over Marius's shoulder and see Enjolras standing a few feet behind. I realize that the fighting has ceased for now, and that all the remaining men, besides Marius and Enjolras, were collecting the dead.

The expression on Enjolras's face was too hard to look at. It almost seems as if he was trying to keep a straight face, but was really holding back tears. At this point, I realize Enjolras is the one I need to be with right now. He is the one who I want to spend what may be my last moments with. I whisper his name, trying to call him closer.

"En-Enjolras... Enjolras..."

Marius hears and calls Enjolras over.

"Enjolras! Come over here! She wants to speak with you."

He runs over and takes me from Marius into his own arms.

"Oh Eponine... What were you doing here?", he says.

I see a few tears roll down his face. I can't believe the strong and mighty Enjolras would cry over me.

I tell him, "Enjolas, things will be okay. Just stay with me... Don't leave..."

I know, that in an obvious way, it was not going to be okay for me. I felt so weak already and I was losing more blood as the seconds passed. Yet, in another obvious way, it would indeed be okay because Enjolras was holding me again. I was so small in his arms that his embrace almost swallowed me whole. I never felt more loved in my life, and at this moment, I finally believe it. Enjolras loves me... He would never let anything happen to me, as I would to him, but now it's too late.

"Monsiuer..."

"You don't have to keep calling me that, Eponine."

I smirked, "It's quite okay. It su-suits you finely.. I need to tell you that this is one of the happiest mo-moments of my entire life."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm here with you, and-d that's all I need to kn-know to make me happy... You ma-make me happy. I'm glad I get to die before you, because I would never want to live a day without you.."

"No, Eponine. You're going to live and it's all going to be all right."

I used some of whatever energy I had left to smile as best I could. He is still trying to reassure me. I had a place in his heart, which was the best thing I could ever know. I realize now that Enjolras means more to me than Marius ever could. If only I could have realized this sooner.

"Enjolras, when I pass.."

"You're not going to!"

"Just listen, okay.. When I pa-pass... I want you to continue holding me... I want to be with you for as long as you will allow it..."

He looked at me, still with tears in his eyes, and slowly nodded his head. He could no longer deny that I was not going to make it through.

He chokes on his words at first, but he is able to tell me, "Oh, Eponine. I love you so much. I truly do and I know you may not be-"

"I believe, Enjolras. I believe you now... I love you too... so much. I always will. You... You are the only one I love, and I mean that..."

He looks at me and laughs slightly through his tears.

"That's all I ever need to know, Eponine."

He pulls me in for what will probably be our last kiss. His lips are so warm against mine, which are starting to cool over. Knowing that I will probably never be able to do this again, I try to make it count. I can't help but cry as he kisses me. He releases me, and just holds me close to him, as he had the day before at his home. This is exactly where I need to be. I close my eyes and find eternal peace.


	9. Chapter Nine

Enjolras POV

I watched her slip away in my arms. At that moment, I brush the wet hair that's clinging to her face away so that I can appreciate her beauty once more. I pull her even closer to me than I had before. I get nervous that I might have hurt her from embracing her too much, but I remember that she cannot feel it anymore. I no longer try to hold in my tears anymore. I don't care if my men see me weep. They are just witnessing a man lose all hope.

I cry for what feels like hours. I have to keep holding her, as I promised her I would. It is already dark out when I hear someone approach.

"Enjolras,", the voice says. "We have to put the body away with the others now. I promise we'll treat her with care as we place her amongst them. We'll dedicate the rest of the fight to her. We will win this for Eponine, I promise."

The voice comes from my friend, Combeferre. I look at him before I agree. I don't want them to take her away, but I have to comply. If I don't leave her now, I know I never will. I hold her close one last time and kiss her forehead. She still has a little warmth to her body... just enough to trick me into thinking that she's not completely gone, even though I know better.

Combeferre and another one of my men carry Eponine's lifeless body to where the rest of the dead bodies are. And then it hits me. How many dead bodies are there?

When the two come back, they stand next to me in silence.

Staring off into space, not bothering to look at them, I ask, "How many are left?"

Combeferre replies, "There's only about half of us left. I don't know how much longer we can hold up."

Only about half of my men are still alive? My God. What are we going to do?

Without saying a word, I leave Combeferre and head back inside the cafe. Due to our barricade position, it was still available for us.

Upon entering, I see that no one is left inside the cafe. Everyone who remains is outside, mourning the dead. I'm so frustrated and devastated that I need to take my anger out on something. I scream, not giving a damn on who hears me now. I go over to the bar and smash every single bottle left. Once that's over, I'm left with two bloody hands that's been cut by glass, yet I still don't care. I go over to the tables and lift up the chairs, throwing them against the walls. The pieces of the furniture fall to the floor. After I'm done, the only things left are a single chair, two tables, and a red flag hanging on a pole near the farthest end of the room. I sit on this last remaining chair at the bar, put my head into my hands, and just cry once again. I have officially lost everything. I lost so many of my friends already, I lost the one girl I will ever care about, and I'm halfway into losing my only purpose in life. I give up... For the first time in my life, I give up. I've officially lost my mind.

I'm still in the midst of crying when I hear the door to the cafe open. I don't even bother to check who it is. Someone walks towards me- Marius. He has blood stained clothes and a small wound on his head. He looks at me, but I don't bother to do the same. He says nothing for a good ten minutes; I just want him to leave.

Eventually, he tells me, "I never knew how much you two cared about each other. No one knew. If we did, we would have put special attention into making sure she was never here to witness the fight... To keep what happened to her from ever happening."

I sit, refusing to talk.

Marius continues, "I get why you didn't tell the other boys; they would have made jokes like they did to me about Cosette. But why not tell me? I'm one of your closest friends. Eponine is one of my closest friends. I would have helped you keep her safe."

I finally bring my head up from my hands and look at him. I break my silence.

"_Was_. She _was _your friend."

"Yes", he says. "You're right. Was."

"And now she's gone forever."

He doesn't say anything about her after that. He just continues on, asking me why I never told him. I cannot keep in my emotions in front of him any longer.

"I didn't tell you because she was in love with you too! It took her dying for her to realize that she loved me more than you! Why did it have to come to that?! Why didn't I save her?! Why wasn't it me, Marius... I should have saved her. Protected her... I should have taken her to England like I said. This wasn't her fight..."

I can tell that he no longer knows what I'm talking about. He must think I'm crazy.

"Marius, just go. Please. I need to be alone. I'll explain this another day.", I say, even though I'm not sure we'll even have another day.

He sighs, still confused as ever. "Okay, Enjolras. I'll leave. Just be prepared, however. Apparently, the National Guards plan another attack on us later in the night and I don't know how we would even manage without you."

With that said, he leaves me alone in the cafe once again. They don't see that, even if I do try my best to continue leading my men, we still don't stand a chance. I have failed them all. How can I ever forgive myself?


	10. Chapter Ten

Enjolras POV again

Marius had been right. The National Guards attacked, now with more men than ever. I don't understand why, as there are so few of us left anyways.

At this point, I believe I am the only friend of the ABC left standing. I witnessed Combeferre and a few others get shot all at once. I don't even know where Marius and Grantaire are at this point.

The king's soldiers have destroyed our barricade with their cannons, leaving the front of the cafe in ruins. From the window in the cafe, where I had again taken refuge, I see about twelve members of the National Guard, all holding muskets, making their way to the cafe door. They have come for anybody who remains... They have come for me. I try to blockade the door with the tables left here, but it does not stop them. After several pushes against the door, they knock it down with ease. I back up to the wall farthest away from the entrance, trying to get away, even though I have no hope left of surviving. The men at the door approach me, muskets up and aiming at me. They stop a few feet away, when one of the National Guards, who is most likely the captain, tells the rest of his men,

"I believe this is the leader of them all. Too bad he led them directly to their deaths. Him being the last one standing, he got to witness all his friends die." He turns to me and asks, "How does that make you feel, boy? Are you proud of your failed uprising? The people of France have abandoned you all."

As he mocks me, I hear the door open. In enters, Grantaire, the man that I expected to be the first to go. He makes his way next to me, yelling,

"Long live the Republic!" over and over again.

I look at him and can't help but laugh inside. Grantaire, the lazy drunkard, has given himself up to these men and is willing to die alongside me. I'm not even sure he believes in the Republic, and yet he tells these men that he does. I'd never have believed it if someone told me before this moment.

The twelve National Guards are surprised at the sudden arrival of Grantaire. I look around the room and remember that the bar still stands amongst the room here. Several months before, I remember the owner of this cafe showing us guns from behind the bar that he said he would not be afraid to use if anyone of us got out of line, specifically talking to Grantaire, who had been fooling around.. With luck, the guns would still be there, fully loaded. We could run behind the bar amidst the soldier's confusement, get the weapons and fire, using the bar itself as a mini barricade. What have we got to lose? This could be our only escape route.

I ponder whether I should take this chance, but in the end, I decide against it. Why should I even bother? It's not like I have any reason to live anymore. With Eponine, my friends, and my will to fight all gone, what do I have left? Absolutely nothing. I wouldn't mind dying right here and right now. If I allow this to happen, the sooner I can be reconciled with everyone I love. However, this does not allow me to cause Grantaire's death if he has another option. I nudge Grantaire, who has now taken a spot beside me, and motion my eyes to the bar. He follows and, from what I can understand, he remembers the weapons as well and gets what I'm trying to say. I wait for him to take his oppertunity, but he never does. He chooses not take this escape route either. I realize now of the extent of how much he truly cared for nothing. He didn't give a damn of what happened to him either because he had no purpose to live as well. He was willing to die.

Grantaire looks back at me. He offers his hand, and asks, "Do you permit it?"

I take it and smile. He grips my hand, anxious about the pain we'll soon feel. Although he is brave, that does not mean he is not afraid. Bravery is being scared of something, and still being able to get through it. I have never admired Grantaire ever more in my life. At least I do not have to go through this alone.

In my last moments, my mind drift off to thoughts of my lovely Eponine for one last time. I remember all the joy and love she was able to bring into my rigid life. In the short time that I knew her, she helped me grow into a better person.

I think of the little rock that she had given me, which was still in my pocket. I take it out and look at the stone in comparison to the size my hand. I squeeze it in my palm, knowing that dear Eponine had probably done the same when she needed it most.

I know now that even if Grantaire was not there gripping my hand, I would not be alone either way. Eponine will always be with me, _especially _in my final moments. Our love would be beyond this barricade... Even beyond this entire earthly world.

I take the flag that had been hanging on a pole in the cafe and put it in the same hand as that of Eponine's green stone. I choose to die for my two loves: for France and my Eponine. I raise my fist, stone and flag in hand, and with Grantaire gripping to the other hand. I am no longer frightened, and am back to how I have been for most of my life. Eponine has given me back the strength I had lost.

"Do you two wish to be blindfolded?", asks a National Guard.

We shake our heads.

"Well, do you two have any last words?", the same man asks again.

"Just finish us both with one blow, sir.", I hear Grantaire say.

The next thing I remember are several bullets coming towards us at the speed of light. I feel sudden impact and pain against my chest as I fall to the floor. It's all over now.

I lay on the floor, in excruciating pain. Unfortunately, I did not die instantly. I try to look over at Grantaire, who was much luckier than I. A bullet was probably able to hit him straight through the heart, meaning that he did not suffer. However, all this suffering on my part will be over soon. I can join Grantaire and all of the others in time. I close my eyes, waiting and hoping to see my dear Eponine, waiting for me on the other side. She has not been gone long, but oh how I've missed her so...


End file.
